he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm at about main and main street
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
