She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
