oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
