She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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