Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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