I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
