oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
