I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
