Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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