Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
