Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
