it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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