Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
