shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
