just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
should my penis look like a turkey
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
