Please don't use social media to get back at me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
