You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
