It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Found the puke drawer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I still have a little drunk in my system
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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