I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
