dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
