so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
