we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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