billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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