Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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