I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
