My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
