Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
