By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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