Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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