Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
