He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
