I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
