We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
