I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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