She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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