shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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