we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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