thus making me awesome and them whores
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
