i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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