Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
