Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
