I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
