I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
