Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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