Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
