Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
