At least make sure they are 18
Why
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
