just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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