i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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