Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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